How to Avoid the Dressing Room Spiral
Image via Pinterest via PobiShop
It’s that time again where the air is getting warmer, the days are getting longer, and shorts, tanks and summer dresses have started to make their annual appearance in our malls.
We look forward to sun kissed skin and sunny days at the pool, but then reality sets in when we walk into the fluorescent lit dressing room, put that pair of shorts with the cute tank on and all hell breaks loose. We look into the mirror and put our bodies on trial. We judge. We nit-pick. We spiral into the following negative self-talk…
Gross, I am so pale I need a spray tan asap.
Holy crap where did that stomach roll come from?
These shorts are cutting into my thighs, but I swear I am this size.
Why do my arms look like blobs?
Is the lighting that bad in here?
Is the mirror angled differently today?
OMG is this what my body looks like now?
Why don’t I look like the model from the online picture I saw?
My butt looks so flat in these shorts.
Is this how the world sees me?
Okay, breath, we will just pick it up at the gym and eat more salads.
Or maybe it’s time to try Whole30 or Keto, yeah Keto. Keto sounds good.
Maybe I should get the smaller size as motivation?
Ugh, I hate my body. How did I let myself go?
I get. I have fallen down the negative self-talk spiral too and have cried in more dressing rooms than I even want to admit to.
We are our most vulnerable in a dressing room. We stand there in our intimates trying on clothes in multiple sizes hoping the smaller size wins not thinking that size is actually ambiguous. You can be one size somewhere and another size somewhere else. For example, I bought two shirts from the same store and one was a small and one was a large. How size and body confusing is that?
We are told over and over we are only worth our size; our value equates to a number on the scale, and we are only considered beautiful if we can mimic a model who has been photo shopped. If this was true and I am a size small and large based on those shirts I bought, what is my worth? The average? So, a medium? What does that even mean?
My advice to you as you gear up for your date with the dressing room and your new spring wardrobe, ask yourself these reflection questions:
What if you accepted that your current body is the body meant for these clothes — what would it look like to live in these clothes this spring and would the bring you joy?
If you removed size, how do you feel in the clothes?
Is this how you want to express yourself? Are you dressing for you or are you dressing for someone else?
What is your favorite part of your body? How can you enhance it?
How can you walk away from the experience and not feel shame or disappointment? How can you be compassionate with yourself and know your body is not the problem?
It isn’t easy, and it does take work, but here is the truth:
Our bodies are made to change. They are changing constantly and every day to help support where we are in that moment.
It’s okay to not always love every part of our bodies. Body kindness is an ongoing practice and you will be better at it some days than others. The important thing is you be kind, compassionate and loving towards your body and be grateful for what it does for you every day.
Our size does not equate our worth, value or happiness. You get to choose happiness and what that means for you and how it is represented in your life.
Everyone can wear shorts, tank tops and bikinis. Stop wasting time for other people to give you permission to wear shorts, tank tops and bikinis. Just wear them because you can, just like everyone else.
Say yes to the clothes that reflect who you are and light you up. Forget the clothes that just don’t get you!
Negative self-talk and the dressing room spiral actually detract you from living the long-term healthy, happy and fulfilled life you so deeply desire.
You are enough!
Remember, it's just a dressing room, not the courts deciding your worth. You are worth it and show it off!