How To Overcome a Tough Time and Start Growing Into Who You Really Are

I’ve been thinking about this post all weekend and how and if I even wanted to share it, but as I was working through my own grief, I decided now more than ever (hello, COVID-19 I see you) it is important that I share.

Last Friday I became one of the millions that has now been laid off from their job. In all honestly, I was prepared for it to occur and had been having open conversations with my husband that this could be a real possibility for me because like all other business this new normal hit hard.

When it happened I was disappointed yet understood, but my ego was bruised and wondered - ‘why me? was I not valued? was I not good enough? why was I chosen to be laid off?’.

I allowed myself a good, ugly, wine filled cry and made my husband hug me extra hard on Friday, but deep down I knew I was going to be okay, maybe even better.

I’m a big believer that everything happens for a reason and the Universe does have our backs and knows what it’s doing. Am I scared of the unknown and what’s next? Sure, I’m human like everyone else, but I have worked hard to understand and know that on the other side of fear is opportunity, joy, and my dreams.

I’m looking at this layoff as the Universe providing me a course correct and an opportunity to gain clarity, confidence and motivation to go after my dreams. The excitement of opportunity and creativity that has been pouring of me the past few days has been amazing and the fuel I need to continue to move forward on this new path I’m on.

I know I am not alone is this or in experiencing troubling times, so here are my tips on how you too can overcome a tough time and start growing into who you really are:

Allow yourself to feel ALL the feels.

Have a good cry, ugly cry. Allow yourself to feel everything. You feel these feelings for a reason and you need to let them out. Give yourself the permission to be selfish and take the time you need to grieve. It’s easier to move on when it is your choice, but when you are reacting to someone else making the choice for you, it hits harder. Live in your feelings, acknowledge them, work to understand them and then work to start letting them go.

Read Marie Forleo’s Everything is Figureoutable.

I have read this book before, but I grabbed it off the shelf this weekend and devoured it, again. This second read hit me harder than the first and was a great reminder that no matter what the circumstance is everything is figuroutable. It’s about chunking the big down into manageable bite sized pieces of actionable items in order to get to the bigger goal. It’s about showing up and not giving up because everything is figureoutable.

Implement morning pages.

Take the time each morning (30 minutes) and do morning pages. The idea around morning pages is when you first wake up you give yourself 30 minutes to meditate through journaling. You write for 30 minutes anything and everything that comes to your mind. You allow it to all spill out onto those pages allowing you to let go, find clarity and realize thoughts and dreams. You might not have the answers the first day, but keep doing it and after a week or so go back and see what keeps popping up for you in regards to dreams, next steps and direction.

Acknowledge your knowing.

Your knowing is your intuition or the little voice/feeling that lives deep down inside of you and works hard to navigate us in the directions we should go. It’s the little voice/feeling that tells us what we need to do when we feel paralyzed and don’t know how to move forward. It’s the truest version of who we are and your knowing knows exactly what to do. So say hi because your knowing is all over your morning pages.

Tap into your network or support group.

Lean on your support group and tap into your network. Talking to other people and see what’s out there. Take inventory on what interests you, inspires you, and who can help mentor you in the direction you want to go. You cannot do it alone and shouldn’t have too.

Take advantage of this time.

Yes, we need to do the things we need to be financially supported, but take advantage of this time to explore your hobbies, understand the things you like to do, try new things and truly define where you want to be in a year, 5 years, 10 years. All we wish for is time and the time is here…now.

PersonalKristen Kunk