We Don't Fail, We Readjust

I’m coming to you sitting on a fold up chair, straight from our newly renovated three season’s room!

I finally got my act together after tearing the room up two months ago and allowed the room to be a construction zone since then.

Maybe is was the feelings of overwhelm, the thoughts of “I don’t know what I am doing”, and my perpetual need for everything to be perfect and be exactly like the picture I have in my head, but I set it all aside and finally got it done.

I am waiting for the new furniture to arrive (my husband picked it out because the furniture I wanted was sold out because I was too hesitant to purchase because I wasn’t sure if it was perfect, so not exactly what I had in my head for my dream furniture).

I am waiting for the new fan to arrive (my husband picked it out so not exactly what I had in my head for my dream fan).

The rug I measured and purchased arrived and is somehow .5” off and doesn’t fit the room so I now have to find a new rug and this one is going in our dinning room (again, not exactly what I had in my head).

The paint job is not perfect but the colors we chose are and let me tell you, the blue ceiling we now have that resembles a Charleston porch fills my soul to the deepest depths.

This room for me is my reminder that I cannot fail, I can only readjust, do what’s right for me today and figure it out.

A few week’s ago I had a conversation with my mom and I asked her to remind me of what I was like when I was a child. She mentioned to me I was always afraid to fail because I wanted everything I did to be perfect. (Hello sunroom sitting idle for two months.)

My whole life I stressed, worried, and felt overwhelmed because I was scared of failing.

My whole life I wanted everything to be perfect.

More importantly, my whole life I didn’t want to fail, I wanted to be perfect and I wanted to fit into the box society told me I needed to fit into.

I yo-yo dieted for years counting calories, eating the perfect portions, and following diets so perfectly because I was I didn’t fit the mold I was told to fit into so I thought I was failing.

I was terrified to go into social situations and would have melt downs before going out to eat because I was breaking the diet rules and believed I failed because I couldn’t stick the diet plan unless I was home. So much time, emotion and stress wasted vs having fun, enjoying myself and living my life.

I exercised like a maniac to prove to myself that I could achieve that month’s magazine perfect summer body. Never achieved it. Just achieved being fit in my own body and hating exercise.

I failed and failed and failed and each time promised myself the next time would be different.

I would do it perfectly and finally be happy and all my problems would go away.

In creating an intuitive eating lifestyle I have worked hard to let go of perfection when it comes to food, exercise and my body image.

Living intuitively is not about perfection or failure. It’s about embracing who you are, your body and your health (whatever that means for you). It’s abut learning to trust yourself that you know what is best for you and readjust to what is good for you today, now and in the present.

There is no end for an intuitive lifestyle because it is a lifestyle….literally you are just living, loving you and honoring your internal cues.

I trust myself in knowing I know what is best for my health and wellbeing, but now I trust myself in knowing I can remodel a room and decorate it knowing I can adjust at anytime.

What a relief! Now back to enjoying my perfectly imperfect room.